I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
