I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
