nut hugger
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
