so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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