so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
