so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize