we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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