Porn is love you can see.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
