I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i am craving dick and cupcakes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
