we have officially lost it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
