don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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