So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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