i can't believe i had my finger in that
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
