so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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