Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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