we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
