he wants to bone in the snuggie
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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