Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
