I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
