Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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