I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
