Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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