But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
