I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
