Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have to summon your inner elephant
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
