And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
