some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
