wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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