There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
