loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
