i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
