Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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