who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize