It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Randomize
