I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
