I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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