I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize