you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
