im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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