There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
