Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
