i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
