She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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