If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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