Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
