if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
