I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize