Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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