Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
