someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
