Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
