everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
