Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
