hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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