Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
