New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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