We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
