She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
