ugly people sure do ruin things
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
