Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
