come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
40s are totally the cure
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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