***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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