Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
