i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
