I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
